I expect him to live. There are no consequences otherwise. Still, despite knowing this, I form comments and questions which are all about victims. I got wrenched out of him, early on; like something seconded. So, I count myself as a victim, I suppose. Yes, I need choices that are right for me. No differing advancements can count as improvements if one cannot say at least something like that. I’m wondering about the bare minimum you described during our last conversation. That troubles me. I sucked your dick; but in retrospect my existence has always been about me. I took in no extra responsibility at all. The flow ebbs. When it does, I’m left in my own skin - replete, without any moments when I’m overtly frustrated. I'm only angry now because I get away with so much. It’s very simple: those waves, that wailing, the other women in my life ... Well, I very rarely present myself as one. You should know that much by now.

Charlotte