31.1.10
30.1.10
29.1.10
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28.1.10
27.1.10
25.1.10
whatever we had we don't have any more
For a while, I tell myself if I just sit here for long enough it'll start to happen, I just have to be patient, but I can only do that for so long before I just feel ridiculous and turn off the computer, but then I still sit there for a little bit, as if maybe now that I couldn't do it it might happen, a kind of cheat, but it's not the kind of thing you can cheat, now, is it.
'Complex' and 'contrarian' are you? If you hated what I said so much, why contact me? Surely you'd be better off messaging those whose views you agree with? We are unalike, and I see that as a relief, personally. I've read your ideas and I find many of them aberrant and dangerous. I am no nationalist; nor am I interested in the war you say you are fighting. You are internecine, in essence; but you do not know what that means. In contrast, I see justice in everything. My own industries are extreme, but I am open-minded and entirely non-judgemental, in terms of ideology and live-and-let-live. You are uninterested in and undemanding of my analytical traits, and you see my applications in that way as so much spirited hinterland. You see friends as food-stuff. Your irksome passion is trapping you. For my part, I seek to connect, or in some sense to yearn for contemplations which are simultaneously unstinting and naturally dynamic. Please note that I arrange my own life, and that commitment is the necessary ingredient of an over-arching emotional engagement with providence itself and the references it cedes to kindness and reciprocity. No, I do not have a wish-list. I am currently UK-based, but my search is not limited to that.
24.1.10
23.1.10
22.1.10
My presence here is about the sexual. I have limited my battered head to feelings of resentment and I want to begin to represent my ideas in terms of experiences and a lifestyle, taking it out, wherever and whenever. Foremost, I am a sensationalist of *the inescapable* and a liar of lies. That can appeal. I fit in. At the heart of my mission, so to speak, is something physical, for which I intend no censure, no restraint, a K Kong. Maybe this will take the form, for you, of things to achieve. I know I'm always learning. If you are an intellectual rather than a scammer of the desperate who gather here, please say hello...
Trader
Trader
21.1.10
20.1.10
..
"so we see that sorrow may be good or bad according to the results it produces in us. and indeed there are more bad than good results arising from it, for the only good ones are mercy and repentance; whereas there are six evil results, namely anguish, sloth, indignation, jealousy, envy and impatience. the wise man says that "sorrow hath killed many and there is no profit therein," and that because for the two good streams which flow from the spring of sadness, there are these six which are downright evil." St. Francis De Sales
19.1.10
18.1.10
17.1.10
16.1.10
...
i'm here, just gently lost, with a oddly calming notion that somewhere along the way, my leg has been stolen.
15.1.10
14.1.10
13.1.10
an incident on the way to the sabbath
The skull is an egg, she said, rapping the rings on her fingers across my forehead, as though attempting to wake sleeping koi within an aquarium, but nothing inside called, and nothing inside came, and I pulled away, scowling at her, wanting only to go back to sleep, but as I moved my head to the side I felt that suture start to split, that crack crawl across the circumference, and the skin began to pull away, clumps of scalp and hair peeled down to the shoulders like a shawl, and as my fingers went up to feel the thing I could not turn to see I myself tapped the amniotic sac only to feel something inside tap back.
12.1.10
Oh See
Level me down the open road,
Discount all tall buildings.
I want to run in the heathland
Where the heather flows
Like water in purple swathes
Over rocky outcrops
Cruel and coarse.
Life is for the living
And not the confines of industry.
let me live now
Before I die
Before I fade to indistinct colours.
11.1.10
10.1.10
9.1.10
7.1.10
my strong advice
my strong advice
keep an eye on the time. you can hear that? i'm fucking screaming screaming about it. you can hear me, can't you, every slick groan from the other side of the ditched fuel supplies. kerosene like sweet perfume. i need something explodes not burns. & a lot of it.
it's cool during the day, but when i get up i get the fuck up. it really is a texxxtbook case. whatever you heard, i'm not that smart about most things. saltrubbed. alcoholrubbed. just rub it. rub it through the walls. i don't wanna hear it don't wanna hear it. what doing. what. there's. someone knocking. on. the. there's someone. knocking.
seven hours. seventyseven hours. seven hundred seventy seven hours. fucking screaming screaming. about it.
keep an eye on the time. you can hear that? i'm fucking screaming screaming about it. you can hear me, can't you, every slick groan from the other side of the ditched fuel supplies. kerosene like sweet perfume. i need something explodes not burns. & a lot of it.
it's cool during the day, but when i get up i get the fuck up. it really is a texxxtbook case. whatever you heard, i'm not that smart about most things. saltrubbed. alcoholrubbed. just rub it. rub it through the walls. i don't wanna hear it don't wanna hear it. what doing. what. there's. someone knocking. on. the. there's someone. knocking.
seven hours. seventyseven hours. seven hundred seventy seven hours. fucking screaming screaming. about it.
........
them others are better
6.1.10
god keeping crazy called shortsighted made
god keeping crazy called shortsighted made
1. away know be hot like you'll but good box
go bit bonaparte dreams flowers scared just
have dead rear too distractible dunno
able this finger you gingerwet the
blue and see into at down six off in
turn born toothy to one or it's candy
times occurred long think big word choice ascend
later things line bubbles blooms did not go
us slow bellytreat been them percussive
i'm through going pull taste senseless even
yeah amber lot smelling nut-brown hoping
polished room fishnets will me up more a
hands get steady inflorescence glass a
calls more right scarves different mentioned sense
sister isn't crassness listening peach
2. not who simpleminded what is talking
weeks senselessness safe odd realistic ruin
active very haven't obviously
extremely course kiss oh stomachache skirt
consideration uh again sugar
touch any well thigh had stem then when that's
biting okay nothing little morning
oil best break dragon can texan your name
does hurt something crystal else your was these
quite being from still flying daubed green signs
putting showing taunt thing days friction call
talk chords uncomfortable it day in
getting on socks many listen stuck here
knows last gray crass that wolfen clear aspic
feel spicy end rhythmic cavities did
3. always jeans leads gangly incidental
an retraction i careful bellyache
somehow lip convinced burning is carried
right i'll story stumble caught way above
where went by earl fool stone middle away
ah retransplanted bright myself for back
more give scamper because soon only grief
ears tower turrets awful ring say times
some without caries ethereal off
let pops of live hey want bizarre should next
years start i've warning take got bitta blue
are much find clarity try newborn full
another love head sweep perhaps having
way bet black rough aspect powder
there's sky spending unwarranted my let's
4. we sweet skull fish yes seriously with
do creaking new done obviousness out
needed voices unfolds leathers plant an
balancing fucking whatever there hope
not guitar time suppose candy other
smell dumb act fall smoke altogether would
found hint sandal mind yer taken life so
cake suffering mean full near am what wake
bonnets future look don't in punch hand an
out fun put might cobalt quiet leaf day
wait together torn corner two fingers
thunderstorm over grins those no how some
lupine colt hilltops night maybe root take
honesty boots up off clustering at
you're dawn all if world ask lean a lifetime.
1. away know be hot like you'll but good box
go bit bonaparte dreams flowers scared just
have dead rear too distractible dunno
able this finger you gingerwet the
blue and see into at down six off in
turn born toothy to one or it's candy
times occurred long think big word choice ascend
later things line bubbles blooms did not go
us slow bellytreat been them percussive
i'm through going pull taste senseless even
yeah amber lot smelling nut-brown hoping
polished room fishnets will me up more a
hands get steady inflorescence glass a
calls more right scarves different mentioned sense
sister isn't crassness listening peach
2. not who simpleminded what is talking
weeks senselessness safe odd realistic ruin
active very haven't obviously
extremely course kiss oh stomachache skirt
consideration uh again sugar
touch any well thigh had stem then when that's
biting okay nothing little morning
oil best break dragon can texan your name
does hurt something crystal else your was these
quite being from still flying daubed green signs
putting showing taunt thing days friction call
talk chords uncomfortable it day in
getting on socks many listen stuck here
knows last gray crass that wolfen clear aspic
feel spicy end rhythmic cavities did
3. always jeans leads gangly incidental
an retraction i careful bellyache
somehow lip convinced burning is carried
right i'll story stumble caught way above
where went by earl fool stone middle away
ah retransplanted bright myself for back
more give scamper because soon only grief
ears tower turrets awful ring say times
some without caries ethereal off
let pops of live hey want bizarre should next
years start i've warning take got bitta blue
are much find clarity try newborn full
another love head sweep perhaps having
way bet black rough aspect powder
there's sky spending unwarranted my let's
4. we sweet skull fish yes seriously with
do creaking new done obviousness out
needed voices unfolds leathers plant an
balancing fucking whatever there hope
not guitar time suppose candy other
smell dumb act fall smoke altogether would
found hint sandal mind yer taken life so
cake suffering mean full near am what wake
bonnets future look don't in punch hand an
out fun put might cobalt quiet leaf day
wait together torn corner two fingers
thunderstorm over grins those no how some
lupine colt hilltops night maybe root take
honesty boots up off clustering at
you're dawn all if world ask lean a lifetime.
5.1.10
4.1.10
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