it's sinking into the dark pools of perception, despite having been there before and watching you through glassine paper and perceiving that it would come to this and yet i stuck my whole head in the trap again, willingly, lovingly- even bared my white neck and pulled aside my hair as to let your steel claws of disappointment sink in deeper so that this time i might learn the lesson that reigns importance over the whole insignificant seething rest of my squalid life and that lesson, divine, omniscient and wise deems it necessary for you to bury your lack of integrity into the warm places of my body and suck away all my interest in others, only cleaving me willingly to you such as to forsake all else until that moment when you begin the process with some other breeding female and then drop me from the net to scatter and swirl and realign into a broken misshapen angry shrieking harridan with little left and spreading flesh and ailing eyes and goals made bitter by the empty place where one would yet should not stand.